Love – Attractions & Repellants

by Nirup

I get questions like: Why did my
boyfriend/girlfriend leave me? Doesn’t he/she still love me?
Where did
the love go? How could he/she have loved me in the past and not now,
does that mean he/she never loved me?

We all know that we can fall into and fall out of love.   
   

The question “Where did the love go? “ How can he have loved me
in the past and not now, does that mean he never  loved me?” The answer
can be often said like this; no, it means the feelings and attractions
that brought you together in the beginning are no longer there. The
thoughts and feelings of opposition are stronger, which we call the
repellants.

In relating to others we have what are known as attractors and
repellants in that we share our energy, thoughts and feelings with
others. The attractions are what bring us together in the first place;
things like sex appeal & appearance, commitment, conversation,
money, having fun, feeling trust and openness, children, and so forth.
We meet someone, and there can be a lot of attractions that form the
relationship. These are our likes and the repellents are our dislikes.
When the attractions become strong enough a relationship is created and
when the repellents gain strength relationship is lost.

What we sometimes call love in the beginning, are really attractions,
and these can often change after some time, turning into the opposite
feelings. The repellants take over, such as dissatisfaction or lack of
sex, no time for your partner, habits that annoy, ill health, lack of
communication, and many others. It can also be over time one partner is
growing in a different direction and the other not wanting to, this is
all it can take to eventually end the honeymoon. What you thought in
the beginning was the right person, turns out not to be according to
your dream and expectations, the reality sets in and the love affair is
broken.

 We have filters that we use to suppress or block unwanted
features within the relationship and that of the other person (for
example: thoughts, spoken words or behaviors). In the case of
relationships I see this all the time. An individual filters out the
repellants so they don’t recognize and don’t have to deal with them.
The problem is that the relationship isn’t working and they can’t
figure out why.

One of the filters that we have is the “dreamer” part, which keeps us
seeing a myth that we have created about the other person. We keep out
the negative parts about the other as long as we can, but eventually
the repellents come in. We start to see and begin to focus on the
annoying habits and idiosyncrasies, or perhaps we finally see that we
are headed down two different paths. The dream and expectations of that
person we created in the beginning, end. People come to me and say they
want to leave their relationship but they are afraid that they will not
be able to create love again, or don’t want to hurt the other person or
persons involved, in the case of children. This is why we create
filters to keep something alive that is not.

Sometimes
we project too much on a relationship, and from another human being.
First we need to see what we want most from another is what we need to
give to ourselves. We need to realize that we all come here to this
earth plane to learn about love and intimacy and grow within, at the
level of our Soul and our connection to that of God/Source/Spirit. We
need to be responsible for our own feelings of fulfillment on the level
of our heart and soul, and then be able to share this with another
being. We need to be aware of what we are bringing to the relationship
in the way of love and support, making it more of a sharing of two
souls, growing in consciousness and awareness, and day-to-day
experiences about life. Rather than dropping the responsibility for
yourself and projecting it outward, to “how can this person fulfill my
life, and me”, making it their responsibility to make you happy. That
sets up so much expectation and demand on another, that can never be
fulfilled, and eventually leads to blame and heartache, and inside we
somehow feel empty and believe that we have been robbed and deceived by
this person, when in actuality it was our expectations and dreams.

On a positive note it is good to know we are changing all the time,
growing in different ways, the more we grow with awareness and
consciousness in life, the more we take responsibility to create a
harmonious life for ourselves, and we come to feel the truth inside
what it is we need in the way of relationships and to call that in, and
we also have the awareness of what it is we are willing to receive and
not receive in the way of compromising. This is another one of the
filters we use. We put aside what we know to be true for us, we
compromise and pretend that what we originally wanted was not important
and because we so desperately want love and a relationship we settle
for less, and give up want we want in order to accommodate the other,
or fit with the other persons likes and dislikes, but you can only fool
yourself for so long, and then reality sets in and now the decision
comes that it is more important to follow your inner truth and heart,
and the need to end the relationship happens.

There are a lot of beautiful people out there in which to have a loving
relationship with, some may be at the level of acquaintances,
friendships, or an imitate relationship. This is where we need to be
discriminating. The difference between “true love” that will lead to
that “life-mate” relationship, and what we perceive as love. Love is
the quality of the heart; it knows no fear or anger. When we live from
our heart center, (heart chakra) we are full of openness and love
towards all living things and beings. When we are open and the other is
open we will feel this connection. Recognizing the differences between
these kinds of connections to others will help you in determining where
you want this person in your life. Too many people come to me saying
they thought they were meant to be in relationship with a particular
person because they felt strong feelings in the heart or energy,
chemistry moving between them, and in fact this could be the case, but
feelings in the heart and chemistry alone are not enough. We need to be
traveling down the same path, with our values and interests.

 When it is “True Love”, how do we stay balanced in a
relationship, as our likes and dislikes are changing all the time? This
is why honest and intimate communication is so necessary, so that we
can make adjustments in how we live. Remember, a great relationship can
exist while you both have similar interests and values and mutually
supported goals/dreams. When getting into a relationship in the very
beginning look for the signs that this person is compatible with your
values and interests, so that the foundation is there, once you know
the foundation is solid, there isn’t much that can not be worked out,
if two persons are willing to. We also have to acknowledge that as time
goes by we are growing and changing within, evolving at the level of
who we are, and sometimes this means going in a different direction,
that moves us away from our partner, if it moves us too much in a
different direction and the other is not willing to accept or go there
with us, we need to make the decision to move forward without them. It
does not mean we do not love that person, but to follow our inner truth
becomes a much stronger priority.

Now there is something of importance worth mentioning; knowing that we
are all here learning and growing, trying to become more aware and
conscious and that it is a process throughout our whole lifetime. We
are all working on it; no one is beyond it, even if they say they are.
So in a relationship the important question to ask is, are we willing
to do the work that it takes, to keep love and intimacy alive. That
means that if we are having difficulty communicating because of our
past experiences or conditionings, we are saying yes to finding ways to
communicate and heal the past that prevents the blocks or barriers. Two
persons have to be willing to work together in a relationship. It does
not work if only one is willing to make a relationship better and the
other is not. Remember a fulfilling loving relationship is about
growing deeper in love and intimacy, having the trust and love to
surrender into something greater, beyond ourselves that takes in the
universal god/goddess energy around us. You can call it divine, cosmic,
universal, oneness; there are many names for it.

Here is an exercise, takes 20 minutes. Find a quite place, sit down,
with eyes closed, take a few breaths deep in the belly, and center your
focus inside at your heart level. This helps get in tune with your
inner most feelings, and helps to relax your body and quite your mind.
Begin asking yourself at the Soul level, what you need in the way of a
loving intimate relationship, what are your values, likes, and
dislikes, that are important, that you know are a priority for you. Go
deeper than the ego/personality level where our desires and dreamlike
ideas lie, to our inner truth and knowing, at our Soul level.

Make a
list of those values and interests that are really important, and on
this list, for each one of your values and interests choose a number
from one to ten, one being the highest, see how important this is for
you, example children, if that is a high priority for you wanting one
or that you have one and you want the person coming into you life, to
accept and want children, that will need to be a number one, so you
will be aware when meeting someone new that this is something that has
to be agreed upon at a high level. Another example is, if communication
is a priority for you, especially the need to discuss and relate on a
deep emotional body level, for some people this is a must and for
others they are not quite so interested in going there, so it is
important that the other person should also be there, at around a
number one to three, and not at nine or ten. That would never work, and
you would always feel something is missing, and struggling to connect.
Complete this exercise and make a commitment to your self that this is
the kind of relationship that you are calling in, and that you are not
willing to compromise on. When you make that decision that you are not
willing to compromise you will see how Existence supports you and that
right relationship will come to you.

About the Aurthor:
Nirup is a world renowned psychic, clairvoyant, medium and spiritual
counselor, she has published many articles in newspapers and new age
magazines on the topics of psychics, past life regression, relationship
counseling, mediumship and Sedona, Spiritual Arizona.  You can
visit Nirup at www.psychicnirup.com
where she works as a professional psychic and spiritual
counselor.  Please visit the articles directory where you can view
other articles. You can also visit Nirup in Sedona, Spiritual Arizona.

Blessings
Nirup
Accurate Psychic Readings by Nirup
www.psychicnirup.com
928-203-0749